Healing My Mother Wound

One of my first lucid dreams in my early 20s was of a healing nature. In the dream I was sitting in a room with my parents and their acquaintances, and we were all sitting and watching TV. At the same time I noticed that my mother was talking over the TV (as she often did in real life) which at first I thought was annoying. Tuning into what she was saying made me really embarrassed as I realised she was saying judgemental things about me. Things I didn't want the other people to hear. I felt betrayed, humiliated to my very core, and angrily stood up and left the room.

By the time I walked into the next room which was dark, I was already crying from helplessness. The next thing I noticed was the same TV set as in the previous room, which struck me as odd and I realised I was dreaming. As I sat there in the dark room next to the TV set, aware I was dreaming, I couldn't feel excited about being lucid because I could still feel the emotional pain that forced me to run away.

Instead I had an idea to find exactly where the pain I felt was located. Still sobbing I took a deep breath and tuned in to my body. I felt the pain in a knot in my chest and heart. I felt determined to work with this pain as much as I could in this dream, to release it.

Simply allowing it and feeling it was the first step. It wasn't pleasant and it brought more tears but it felt like the right thing to do. Then I wished to breathe it out and it happened very swiftly.

As I started to relax feeling relieved, I woke up on a pillow wet with tears.

The relationship with my mother was never the same again after this dream. Later the same morning I noticed something had shifted in me and in her. I wasn't so attached to her moods, opinions and judgements. I felt compassion for her. This was a powerful beginning of healing my mother wound.