In the past LDE issue, I wrote that the first of my next top five questions to my awareness behind the dream is, “What are you? How would you like me to imagine you?”
In the following article, I would like to share what happened when I asked the questions. Here is the dream,
I’m still working my way through author Michael Raduga’s practices and exercises. Therefore, after a WBTB (wake back to bed technique), I try a WILD (wake induced lucid dream) by imagining myself lying in another sleeping position and/or at a different place. I try to feel myself lying on my couch on my right side. I sense that I begin to ‘switch’ into sleep mode. It feels like I’m lying on my back in bed in my dream body. I wonder how to separate/enter a dream scene. I try the ‘hand wiggling’ technique, and it works! I start falling backward with my head through my pillow and mattress.
Like a rocket, I’m flying backward through a fantastic looking ‘Ice Tunnel.’ I’m astonished at my speed and at the beauty of the crystals around me. A synthetic Voice announces the current velocity (forgotten) and temperature (below -20 °C). This makes me feel a short, cooling airflow.
I’m fascinated and shout, “Dreamer behind my dream, thank you for this wonderful lucid dream entry! What are you? How would you like me to imagine you?” My own ‘phone’ voice answers something like, “How do you mean this?” I try to be more precise, “How shall I, as a human, imagine you?”
The dream scene changes. Beside me is a guide/teacher that I feel to be a symbol of my Inner Self. We are in a ‘Souvenir’ shop. In front of me are hundreds of beautifully carved wooden figures, some with animals on their arm.
I recall Raduga’s current experiment: scrutinize objects. I’m looking more closely at one of the figures. It seems ‘overly-sharp.’ I see all the carved details, and it’s carefully colored. It’s an Indian with a rooster on his arm. The rooster’s bill is incredibly pointed. I touch it with my finger and am astonished that it feels hard and real. I mention it to my ‘guide.’
But I’m dreaming! I should be able to penetrate the thick, colossal woodblock they are made of. And indeed, effortlessly, I can push my head through it! I’m pulling my head back. The ‘guide’ observes me benevolently. I concentrate again on the details of the figures, and they look genuine again and hard, as I touch them. Once more, I penetrate through the woodblock beneath them and enjoy this ‘game.’
I begin to wonder if I will be able to recall all the details after waking up and therefore wake myself up.
Since it was a very cool and fun experience for me, I painted it. I was curious as to why this special dream entry happened to me. It was not a hypnagogic hallucination as I was right in the middle of the action. Fortunately, after I did some dream work with likeminded people, I finally had a profound aha-experience:
My wish to fall asleep consciously had created a lucid dream replicate of my bed in the ‘phase’ (as Raduga would call it). From there, I wondered how to enter another lucid dream scene. My awareness behind the dream let me fall through my mattress, something that I experienced before and immediately thought ‘cool!’ as the last time this happened, I landed in the Universe above the Milky Way. This thought ‘cool,’ created the Ice Tunnel! And the more excited and happy I got, the cooler the experience with the rocket feeling, the space voice, and the ice crystals became – it’s all about BEFIWX(as Robert Waggoner mentions in his books, Belief, Expectation, Focus, Will and ‘X the inner Unknown’). ‘X’ for me represents my awareness behind the dream, and ‘W’ stands not only for ‘Will’ but also for my wish fulfillment, for my desire.
The answer to my request, what or who created this ice tunnel, comes from my own ‘phone’ voice that is astonished about my question and wants to know how I mean it. I missed the message; ‘I’, my Inner Self, my awareness behind my dream, made this gift for me! I was blockheaded. Therefore, after specifying my question, the answer in the form of a new dream scene arises, the figures on a big woodblock.
“How shall I (as a human ego) imagine you?” My question creates a ‘guide’ that feels to be beside me. I didn’t see him; I don’t know what he looked like. I think he was just a symbol of my Inner Self, observing my interactions within the new dream scene. At least, I was able to play with the matter, the illusions I got, and it was fun too. I interpret the figures as authors of all the books about dreams I have read. Some of them differ between lucid dreams and out-of-body experiences, and some don’t. I always felt that for me, these experiences probably are the same. But I kept exploring and pondering until now, this dream seems to have presented me with my missing link, my OBEs are made of the same ingredients as my lucid dreams, they are carved from the same wood!
My awareness behind the dream creates them according to my conscious and unconscious wishes (BEFIW)! They are conscious dream experiences. Sleep Paralysis (where you believe to be awake, but are already or still in the phase) is another conscious dream experience. In contrast, False Awakenings and False Sleeplessness are non-lucid dreams but, in my opinion, created in the same way as are OBEs. The only difference is, the latter you experience lucidly.
Lately, I had a very compelling experience of ‘False Sleeplessness’ as I tried a WILD with another Raduga Technique:
After trying to consciously enter a dream state for about half an hour, I give up and stand up. But there are several silk scarves on the floor, and I have trouble to free my feet and walk to the bedroom door in the dark, in order to not wake my husband. As I open the door, the scarves are flying towards my face, and even a nasty insect wants to sting me. I’m frightened and wake up for real lying in my bed. Would you call this an unconscious OBE? I don’t!
In the past issue, I wrote that in another WILD, I wished in my thoughts to be shown the world of my dream helpers, until several beings pulled my dream body out of my bed. I always thought that this might be a hypnagogic hallucination, but now I think, it’s already happening in my lucid dream, I just didn’t notice the change from my physical to my dream bed and body. Sometimes I experience hypnagogic hallucinations in the liminal state between awake and dreaming, like vibrations, or visual images in front of my closed eyes, before zooming in on a dream scene or feeling like I’m floating out of my body, which indicates for me the start of my lucid dream adventure.
A good example of a WILD with Sleep Paralysis is the following:
Lying on my back at about 4.00 a.m., I’m trying Raduga’s phantom wiggling technique. And indeed, after a while, I can wiggle my dream hands and arms. Cool, I think, it works! Finally, I can swing my torso back and forth until I fall with my head first down on my bedcover. Immediately I have the thought ‘not again a suffocating dream scene!’ I should let my head go through the cover. But because I’m a bit frightened, I open my eyes for a short moment and see my bedcover in the bright room (in waking personal reality it is still pitch dark).
I feel I’m lying again on my back in my physical body, and I try the technique again. Suddenly a grey figure splits from my chest and climbs over my left shoulder on my chest and wants to choke me! I’m stunned – this has never happened to me before, I don’t have demons in my sleep paralysis, and this one is a part of myself 👿!!!
I know that I shouldn’t be afraid, but this figure is pressing me down into my bed. I manage to stutter something like, “I know that I am only dreaming. I’m not afraid of you!” But somehow, I nevertheless am…and prefer to wake up.
I think my demon experience occurred because I didn’t want to undergo another suffocating dream scenario. If I had concentrated on falling through my bedcover, I probably would have landed in a new dream scene. Instead, my awareness behind the dream realized my ‘desire’ for feeling fear and being choked with the symbol of the demon.
These experiences led me to conclude that my awareness behind the dream always seems ready to fulfill my conscious and unconscious thoughts (BEFIW) as best as it can. My desire for consciously falling asleep leads to lucid dreams with so-called out-of-body experiences. My wish, not to wake up leads to false awakenings. My fear in ‘SP’s (sleep paralysis) causes my dreamer behind the dream to interpret that as a desire to enjoy monsters and so on. But this is only my opinion that I developed because of my own experiences.
And as I have written in my Part I, in the last issue of LDE, some of my next goals in engaging the awareness behind the dream are to go deeper, beyond my expectations and projections, to perceive something beyond my lucid dream experiences. To reach such a goal and not just an illusion of lucid light, unconditional love, or my true essence, I’ll probably have to change the wording of my request. Maybe something like, “Please show me something important beyond my lucid dream (and even more, just for a minute),” would work better? Or maybe, I should just close my dream eyes, let go of any thoughts and expectations, and see where this is going to take me?
I hope that my experiences and explanations motivate readers to explore this topic further on their own.
This article was released in issue from
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