April 25/20

Going WILD 8:30am....Lying in bed, looking through my closed eyelids I start to see clear images, they disappear, then later reappear, this goes on for some time, some are animated... I lightly say I want clear images. Suddenly I’m sitting at a lunchroom table, my body stiff... I also feel my physical body lying down in my bed and my legs are stiff as well. I struggle to get up wondering if my physical body is also reacting this way. Then I fall down next to a photo-mat. As I try to roll out I can see a woman through my closed eyelids... “You’re in the way, move,” this does something to me as I am now standing outside the cafe and facing a serene moonlit landscape and a woman in a beautiful dress. I hold onto her hips as she onto my shoulders and we do a slow dance, but as I try to look at her, her face is blurred. We stop and she tells me I’ve misled her and images begin to appear of earlier times in my life where this may have occurred. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing,” I tell her and with that she sits down and disappears. I’m now left standing in the yard looking at the dark sky... “Heal me and Heal my legs,” I cry out to the Awareness behind the Dream. Nothing happens... and then I’m suddenly swept up and travel through the Universe at a comfortable speed, through layers and layers of a translucent medium... each layer is filled with different symbols until I come upon layers that are filled with prison bars... “You know what you did,” a voice says from behind me. I begin to wonder... what, was I a nazi or something in a past life and did something horrible? But the whole experience actually felt good and I soon awake.

In this experience I was actually looking to heal a knee injury that I’m presently dealing with, but it took an unexpected turn. I’m not fully surprised though because I do hold the belief that all ailments have an emotional seed when you get down to it. For example, why just heal an ulcer if we don’t heal the underlying cause (such an irritating boss or our inability to deal with stress) just to have the problem re-surface somewhere else? This dream did not make my knee much better, but why? I figure it has to do with my relationship with the feminine, or more specifically with my own feminine side, and so... not so fast... the healing is more a process than a one off. Over the next few months as I revisited this issue, it only seemed to confirm as such (what follows is the cliff note version of the ongoing drama...typically I bounce in and out of dreams many times in one session).

June 24/20

Lying awake I ask the Awareness to help me through my blockages. I’m on my left side and soon I feel an energy holding onto me, not threatening but heavy... I struggle and fly out and am able to separate from this energy but I’m in total darkness and then back on my bed...again this energy holds onto me. With some struggle I’m able to remove it, this male energy is nearby talking to me and it turns into a woman I once had a difficult past relationship with. I think about escaping but then take her hand, so we remain separate and we walk outside to go to a meeting... eventually I let her go and fly off. Now back on the bed, a blob of energy is on me again... I pull it off and its “J”. I tell him I need to be separate (he’s a close relative and knows the other woman as well). He says, “How do you know I’m really J? ... How do you know you’re really you?” I tell him I can come get him once in awhile but I must be on my own. (The issue here is abandoning someone I care about as I evolve as a dreamer). With that I let go of his hand and I’m free. Now I’m back on my bed but no energy holding onto me, I get up and walk out of a garage... I see an exotic city in the distance and decide to try something new... I summon the city to come to me and it begins to move towards me, becoming ever so bigger. I then awaken back on my bed and decide to go back again. As I exit the garage I’m now in the middle of an ancient stone city. I explore it awhile and then follow a couple to an eating area... I decide to try another first for me: I find a bowl of dumplings and eat them... their taste is quite normal but when I wake up I feel absolutely full.

Now you might ask, what does all this have to do with healing my knee, seeing that was what I had in mind going into this dream? Well several things.... when you look at the symbolism it starts to make sense. You see, our legs carry us forward in life, my injury is impeding that... in my dreams it appears this blockage manifests as either being stuck, or as an energy blob holding me back, which then transforms into people or situations in my life that have challenged my progress or that I may still have issues with. With the resolution within the dream I’m finding myself with new powers and flexibility in my experiences (symbolized by summoning the city as a new found power rather than flying out to it AND eating food and finding that energy translated into physical reality as a symbol that energy can carry over directly from the dream). Also, interestingly, the next day “J” came to me in the physical and told me the woman (from my dream) was now moving back to my home town after a long absence. Coincidence?

I did continue to heal this issue in other dreams... example ...

July 18/20

I’m spending a lot of time looking for images under my closed eyes but to no avail, when all of a sudden I’m walking down this street and immediately know I am dreaming... I’m a bit excited by this which causes the dream to fade, like a blanket of darkness enfolding around me, eventually covering me like a cocoon... As I lay there I feel stuck... I stretch my neck to see beyond this dark blanket and I can make out a full fledged dream just beyond, but I can’t move. Then this beautiful woman appears next to me and starts saying something but I can’t make it out... another woman appears and they start talking to one another, the first one telling the second one what I need to do to get unstuck... I stretch my neck to overhear her and she says to make a particular sound while focusing on my upper teeth... I do just that and start to feel freer and a hole starts to open up in this cocoon... I do it again and this time I am fully free.

As I exit, I walk out the door of a mini van onto a residential city neighborhood... as I walk down the street I am met by two children that ask me to go with them to help someone but I think I would rather go in another direction to try some other goals … Well, one of the woman from the cocoon is now attached in a small energetic form to my back and suggests it would be better to go with the kids, which I do. I am led to this guy sitting in a living room chair, all wrapped in blankets, his head covered with a hood to hide his (sick) appearance... his dark watering eyes staring at me as he mumbles a challenge, sort of taunting me... I can sense the darkness within him and confidently exclaim, “Pull it out of your ass!!!” Feeling that this will somehow help him 🤔 shortly after I wake up.

Although this was not the most elegant way to deal with my shadow, the dream does illustrate how the feminine in the form of woman in my dreams are now coming to my aid rather than challenging and confronting me. During these months I’ve had many other lucid dreams related to this issue, the ones I’ve written about here highlight the gradual healing taking place and how my abilities are improving over time (it may not be quite apparent due to the limited space we have to share but my lucid dreams have been longer, more frequent and more conscious over these past months which I feel are a direct result of my focus on healing). I’ve also seen marked improvement with my knee although one could argue that would have improved over time anyways. But I feel close and on the verge of a major change in my life due to my healing process with the feminine... something is definitely on the horizon.

To be continued....


This article was released in issue from

September 2020

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